He Of Three Names

Genesis of a Scoundrel

"Abdul Goldberg has crossed you for the last time-it was pure luck that your paths should cross on this isolated planet outside of imperial control. He and his crew are relaxing down at Greasy Kim's Bar and Diner, unaware that you and your crew are ready to pounce. The Diner is mostly deserted, with only a few lonely vac-heads and spacers to witness the fight."

And here we are, boys and girls... ABDUL GOLDBERG: SPACE PIRATE

Yeah that's him in all his velvety and silky badness! So, let's review how I birthed the bad ass into existence. I originally has a set of legs set aside for the basis of this project... they were a little rougher looking... had more of a scavenger feel to them. I was totally going to use those legs, but then I lost them. BUT THAT'S OK. I figured it out. The keen-eyed among you will have already identified the torso and head as that of a Marauder Dark Elf scout. I clipped and filed down the repeater crossbow and clipped the ponytail to give ol' Abdul a sleek and shiny dome. The legs came from a random old west figure I had laying around. I savagely sawed the two models is half to make one, single, far superior model. BEHOLD THE EVIDENCE OF MY CRIMES!!!!

PAIN!!!

MAKE SAVAGE THE BODY!!

So this is a fairly straightforward conversion... yeah I said conversion... it's a thing we used to do before plastic models... that's right. The tools I used were a cutty thing, a clippy thing, a pinny thing, and a thing to make tiny holes for the pinny thing. After the hack job I made a hole in the bottom half and a hole in the top half and made sure they lined up and then put the pinny thing in and glued this classy fucker together.

HOLY SHIT THERE'S A BIG FUCKING GAP!!

NO WORRIES!!

I ran out of green stuff... so I used milliput. What's milliput? It's the magic shit that nightmares are made of. I covered up the gap at the waist with a stylish and appropriate sash and added some blood stripes to his pants to give him a little bit of that piratical flair.

Yeah, now we're talking. This is exactly the kind of Abdul Goldberg you'd expect to see swindling witless space scum out of their hard-earned loot. But what's a model without paint??? Utter shit, that's what!! 

Boom. Purple shit. ABDUL GOLDBERG IN ALL HIS EASTER FINERY!! Abdul is seen here sporting a mauve space captain's jacket with pink Tallaran silk and white embroidered coat fasteners. Underneath his captain's jacket can be seen a stylish mesh armored shirt, most likely of Eldar origin. A smart plum sash ties together the royal purple slacks with the rest of the outfit.

The royal purple slacks not only compliment Abdul's leather and gold sword scabbard, but also delightfully frame a set of shapely thighs and buttocks! A stylized skull on the back of the jacket says "I may be a pirate, but at least I have style!"

The slacks may whisper "style", but the bloodstripes scream "WARRIOR". That's right, the bloodstripes warn any  ne'er-do-wells that Abdul is not one with whom who is be trifled with all your ratchet bull. And of course, no self-respecting pirate in the 41st millenium would be caught anywhere without the ubiquitous imperial model las pistol. But wait!!!

What's that?? POINTED EARS??? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??

WHAT

IN

THE

FUCK????

Yeah... that's right. Book Of The Rogue Trader, Age Of The Imperium, Page 204, Paragraph One:

"The ancient legends of Old Earth were for long ages discredited as invention, folk-lore and myth. The reality, however, was to prove far more disturbing... Vampires exist within the societies of most established intelligent races... They naturally crave for power... They have no home world"

It's the only explanation that makes any sense, after all. How else can the ultimate scoundrel survive through the ages, constantly evading the authorities and other pirates alike? Why not assume the guise of a space buccaneer, the ultimate symbol of freedom and individuality? But this changes his profile from my previous post.... and here you have it: The new and improved Abdul Goldberg!

M	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld	Int	Cl	WP
4	6	6	5	5	3	6	3	10	10	10	10
Equipment:  Displacer Field, Mesh Armor, Web Solvent, Bionic eye with built in Targeter, Bio Scanner and Energy Scanner
Weapons: Power Sword, Digital Needler, Antique Pistol, Knock-Out Grenades, Stasis Grenades, Shuriken Catapult

So stay tuned for the conclusion of the Abdul Goldberg project! In the final installment I will generate his psychic abilities and dazzle you with his background story! Find out where he came from! What has he been up to all this time? How many civilizations has he seen rise and fall? WHAT MYSTERIES LIE WITHIN THE MIND OF ABDUL GOLDBERG??? 

Stay tuned... if you dare!